How To Declutter Sentimental Items
Often when we are decluttering our homes, it is the sentimental items that are most difficult. It’s not about the things themselves. Some sentimental items are high-quality precious antiques that hold real value, but most are only special because of the memories they trigger. We hold in our hands scenes from our childhood, the heritage of generations gone before, and the love of those who are no longer with us.
There is no easy way to declutter these items, but here are some helpful guiding principles.
Keep Happy Memories
Don’t hang onto things because they were expensive or old or important to someone else if the memory it prompts in you is a negative one. Don’t feel obliged to keep reminders of pain, abuse or trauma.
Did rejection, bullying and ridicule mar your time in high school? Release the yearbooks from your life. Does the painting that hung in your childhood living room bring back the sound of your parent’s arguments before the divorce? You don’t have to live with that anymore.
Keep things you love
Beauty is subjective. We all like different things. There is no right or wrong to personal preference. It is just that—personal. Colours and styles change over time, going in and out of fashion through the years, and our tastes and preferences change too.
We were married almost 30 years ago. When we moved out of our apartment, ready to travel around Australia in our RV, we only kept the most precious and useful of our possessions to be stored for when we return. We reduced 30 years’ worth of possessions into around 20 packing boxes. One of the most difficult categories to declutter was our engagement and wedding gifts.
I had been dutifully packing and moving these items from house to house for the last 28 years. But, here’s the thing that I had to admit to myself: I didn’t like them anymore. At least, not some of them. Times have changed, and my sense of style has changed too. I never used the glass punch bowl with the grapevine pattern or the matching set of crystal brandy glasses. I offered them to our children, nieces and nephews. I tried to sell them on Marketplace. In the end, I donated them to our church Opp Shop.
I have kept the things I love, the things I enjoy using for special occasions. But I didn’t need to hold onto the things I no longer like.
When you are making decisions about what sentimental items to keep, choose things you love. Let the other things go.
Keep things you use
There is something very special about using things that have rich sentimental meaning. My grandmother was a fabulous cook. I remember sitting at her kitchen table and watching her whip up a batch of fresh scones for morning tea. It was effortless for her. I’m not as good a cook as my grandma was, but I have one of her aprons. When I tie that green check cloth around my waist, a little bit of grandma is in the kitchen with me, and whatever I cook is filled with love.
Don’t keep every sentimental item tucked safely away to keep it from wearing out or breaking. Keep things you can use, and then use them. Invite the memories and the love they represent into your everyday moments.
Keep things you have space for
Our home is living space, not storage space. Living in a cluttered environment with bits and pieces filling every nook and cranny, every shelf and cupboard full, is stressful and exhausting. A peaceful home has space to breathe; it is visually calm. It has margins.
Sentimental items play an important role in connecting us to the most meaningful memories and loving people in our lives. These things should make us feel good, loved and happy, not overwhelmed and hemmed-in.
We can’t keep everything. We have to make choices and only keep the very best of the best, giving it pride of place in our home. I have an old sideboard in our dining room that used to belong to my grandmother. The centre section has glass doors, and on these two shelves we display a handful of porcelain figurines of dogs and birds from my husband’s grandmother’s collection. These few items bring back happy memories of our childhoods.
When you are making decluttering decisions, the space in your home is a crucial factor. Rather than cramming as much as you can into every shelf, just keep a few of the most precious items. Only keep enough china to fit in the china cabinet you have comfortably. Keep the number of books that fit in your bookcase. Once the space is filled, chose to keep the ones you love the most and let the excess go to another home.
Donate to meaningful places
It can be difficult to let go of possessions that are meaningful to you and your family. It is easier if you can find a good home for the things that are still in good condition.
When my husband suggested we upgrade our bed to a king-size, I was reluctant. I understood his reasoning for the change, but I didn’t want to let go of the bedroom suite my dad, a gifted cabinet maker, had made for us as a wedding gift. I asked around in my family. Our old bed now belongs to my sister and her husband. It has just as much meaning as it did in our home. It was easier for me to let it go knowing it was going to a good home where it is appreciated and used.
As we have downsized through the years, we have always tried to give our unwanted things to friends and family members who can use them. We have also sold some things. It may seem impersonal, but it has often been an uplifting experience. I have seen people fall in love with items we no longer need and feel blessed to take them home. I know these items aren’t wasted. They are appreciated and used by other loving families.
It has also been important to me to find a charity I can donate things to, knowing my unwanted possessions will be given to families in need or sold to raise money for a worthy cause. In the end, I have to let things go. I have chosen to live lightly, and I can’t enjoy our simple and agile life while still owning 50 years’ worth of possessions.
Avoid Decluttering Guilt
Let’s take a moment to talk about the guilt associated with getting rid of belongings that used to be precious to the people we loved. It can feel disrespectful to sell or donate possessions that were once cherished or handmade and represent our family history.
Remember, when it comes down to it, they are just things. Our family memories do not dwell in the items, they live on in our hearts and minds. The best way to honour them is to continue a legacy of love, be happy and live life to the full. This is what my ancestors would have hoped for me, and this all I hope for my children and future generations of my own family.
Some things are worth keeping
Remembering the past and honouring those who have gone before us is important and valuable. Reading the letters and journals of men and women from long ago teaches us valuable lessons about life and love, faith and family. We need these stories, and we need a way to keep these stories alive. There is a place for the richness of family history in our homes and families.
We need to find ways to keep these stories alive. It is easier than ever to scan old photographs and letters and print them into photo books and posters. Old furniture can be restored or repurposed. We can keep family traditions alive in our celebrations and create new traditions that fill our gatherings with joy and meaning. Decluttering sentimental items does not mean erasing the memories of our past. Rather, it is finding ways to remember the past without being burdened by unwanted things.
What are you leaving?
I am blessed to have a childhood full of happy memories, but I know that’s not true for everyone. We cannot choose our past. We can’t control our family of origin. We can, however, consider the legacy we are leaving future generations.
As I write this, I am in the process of crocheting a blanket. Row by row, the leaf pattern emerges and grows. I imagine my grandchildren and great-grandchildren tucking this rug over their knees to read on cool evenings. Perhaps they will throw it on the grass to host a tea party for teddy bears. My only hope is the memories they have of me are happy ones, full of love.
What kind of legacy are you leaving? Will the souvenirs you leave your family prompt happy memories of love? Will the possessions you leave be treasured and valued, or will the burden of your memory be heavy?
Let’s leave a legacy of love and joy for our families to enjoy and continue.
